Why Lovely Sam Soon is still relevant today - Part 3

Jin-heon becomes a loan shark using Sam-soon’s loyalty as the debt to be repaid without end.  Bad man Jin-heon knows Sam-soon can’t repay the loan, and with no qualms uses this to force her to stay beside him, to help him rebuff Hee-jin.  The love contract loses merit with Hee-jin’s return and money becomes the only tool Jin-heon has left to tie Sam-soon to him, one he shamelessly exploits.  He offers no explanations or reasons for the battle he has coerced Sam-soon to fight in.   She’s just expected, not for the first or last time, to do as he says. Sam-soon, already having made clear she knows she can walk away from the contract at any time, nonetheless agrees to continue as his accomplice.  In doing so, the viewer sees Sam-soon acknowledge to herself a truth she has refused to face before -- that she has feelings for Jin-heon (and is no longer just playing a stand-in to help him avoid blind dates).  This declaration to Hee-jin at the first of several meetings to discuss their respective relationships with Jin-heon is a turning point on many levels for Sam-soon and for the drama.  For Hee-jin, her past decisions have grown teeth and are threatening to bite her.  For Sam-soon, her casual acceptance of the love contract has similarly grown teeth, and she is already caught in its jaws.

It’s a different love triangle, one that remains prevalent in dysfunctional relationships.  I may not want you, the saying goes, but I don’t want you to be with anyone else.  Jin-heon doesn’t understand the situation because he has been wearing blinkers for so long that his peripheral vision has dimmed.   A headache has developed for all three of our lovers.  That pain will only get worse the tighter Jin-heon holds on to his real girlfriend, Sam-soon.  The transition from fake to real happened so subtly that, like a mist, it was completed with hardly any overt signs.  With eyes and hearts wide open, what signals there were were ignored by the lovers.

Episode 6-10

What of Jin-heon, the subject of this love triangle?  After three years of waiting, one would expect him to rush to Hee-jin and welcome her back.  Theirs was a relationship so different to what has developed with Sam-soon that it is easy to understand his hesitation.  It’s a case of the past competing with the present.  With Sam-soon, Jin-heon has learnt to give himself over to her to such an extent that being apart is now a problem for him.  He can relax, laugh, fight, and reconcile with Sam-soon without tremors or scars forming in the relationship.  He trusts Sam-soon unreservedly.  The deep relationship they talked of having has become a reality.  Sure, he is angry with Hee-jin -- an anger that has been brewing since she disappeared, seemingly like smoke, without a trace.  Yes, he is emotionally overwhelmed that after having desired her return for so long, here she is.  Those matters aside, why the hesitation with Sam-soon, Jin-heon?  Why not cancel the contract irrespective of whether or not you go back to Hee-jin?  Why insist on holding on to Sam-soon in such a cruel way?

We quickly learn that Jin-heon finds himself a man caught between two women.  Just as Sam-soon realises that she is in love with Jin-heon, he, in turn, realises that he doesn’t want to be without her. Sam-soon is honest about her feelings.  Jin-heon refuses to acknowledge his feelings towards Sam-soon.  The reason?  To love Sam-soon means letting go of his love for Hee-jin, a love they shared for five years before she went away, a love that was sufficient to keep his emotions suspended during the three years of her absence, and a love that is all he has ever known.  Jin-heon is a passionate man who is also steadfast in his feelings.  I feel, too, that with Jin-heon’s extreme personality, he needs to know exactly why Hee-jin walked out on him.  What the answer might be frightens him.  He’s afraid it will add fissures to the wounds in a heart already broken.  In contrast, Yoo Hee-jin appears emotionally casual and is unapologetic for what she put him through. When Jin-heon explains how much he suffered because of what she did, Yoo Hee-jin’s response is: “But at least no one died”.  Never mind Jin-heon’s reaction, her attitude caused a hitch in my heart, too.  Blunt but enlightening, Hee-jin’s treatment of Jin-heon provides a mirror to the character of the man he was when she left him:  accommodating, selfless, loyal -- basically, a pushover. Clearly, the very different man Jin-heon presents now is the result of pain experienced and lessons learnt from his abandonment by Hee-jin.  It will be interesting to see whether the changes were just part of the protective armour he built around his ‘love’ for Hee-jin.

When friends, lovers, siblings, family members do not listen, or cannot hear, understand, empathise, and share the pain of those who rely on them for emotional stability, there can be nothing but discord and resentment.  Such emotional chasms always lead to breakups.  Today.  Tomorrow. That will never change.

Much of the drama from here goes on to detail the love triangle.  By today’s standard, this drama is calm, the participants reasonable.  Still, the decision is no less difficult for the one having to choose between the competing hearts, just as the tears are no less real for the loser.  Real-world issues, then.  In an unexpected twist, Jin-heon, who has suppressed not only his emotions over Hee-jin but also the grieving process over losing his brother and sister-in-law in a road accident in which he was the driver, unburdens himself of the sadness whilst being held tightly by Sam-soon.  From all the pain he has silently carried, a dam breaks open and Jin-heon bares his heart, allows his tears to flow unchecked.  It’s intimate, heart-rending, impactful.

They are both left exhausted but seemingly emotionally closer.  This happening just minutes after Jin-heon publicly fights with Sam-soon’s recently engaged ex-boyfriend over his continued pursuit of her, adds to the love story.  It’s the point where he demands that she must not interact with other men in any form or shape and one prepares themselves for the next stage of the relationship outside the bounds of the love contract.  Somehow, Jin-heon’s ‘not a mistake’ fight and demands placed upon Sam-soon gives a clear message to all --except himself.  He does not know why he feels that way, he just does.   

What to do, what to do!  Poor Sam-soon.  Hers is a predicament no one wants to be in. Being in love with your best friend is always a hard place to find yourself.  She is tied to a man who wants her by his side and in his life but refuses to have her in his heart. His jealousy has no space for reason, however, and truly Jin-heon’s mind is in a mess.  One can imagine it fluctuating between Hee-jin and Sam-soon.  He is a man that does not like to share, neither does he like to lose, yet right now his battle is more than how to hold on to Sam-soon.  It’s also how to forgive Hee-jin and resume their relationship.  It doesn’t help that Jin-heon has witnessed Hee-jin crying in the arms of another man, whom she then leads towards her apartment.  He must be experiencing serious confusion and anxiety.  What to do, what to do!

Jin-heon’s apparent unwillingness or inability to reach a decision between Sam-soon and Hee-jin has been criticised.  Some viewers considered that his lack of decisive commitment to one or other of the women labels him as a cheater, even someone despicable.  Yet, is it true that emotions have changed so much in society that all is black and white, that decision-making of the heart is on a par with letting a computer choose an answer?  Yes or no?  This one or that one?  Right or wrong?   Are we now living in a “Brave New World”?[1]  

By now, we know Jin-heon’s true nature is sensitive and is one unwilling to hurt others.  So, surely, he’s not possibly being greedy and wanting both women?  We’ve learnt, too, that Jin-heon is someone that will only ever have one woman in his heart.  He is, one suspects, beginning to separate the past from the present, putting weight and value to what he had and what he has now.  Even more importantly, Jin-heon’s nature is to commit and commit hard, meaning that whomever he chooses is the person he plans to spend his life with.  How can such a decision be fast or easy?  On top of this, whilst Hee-jin openly expects him to come back to her, Sam-soon is more reticent, is less confident of her place in his heart.  The latter is of Jin-heon’s making.  All that said, in an unforgiveable act of callous selfishness, Jin-heon makes his decision.  He abandons Sam-soon on the side of a highway and rushes off to find Hee-jin -- immediately after Sam-soon declares her love for him.  If this action was heart-wrenching for Sam-soon, for the viewer, it was almost as painful to watch. 

I’ve watched this drama multiple times.  Mostly, I skip straight over that scene.  I literally feel agitated, angry and in disbelief over it.  Every time.   What would today’s victim of such brutal betrayal do?  No doubt many would loudly declare they would forget him or make him suffer for it.  Yet, Sam-soon continues to shield Jin-heon.  And when Henry, Hee-jin’s friend and the man in whose arms Jin-heon witnessed her crying, stops Sam-soon from finding Jin-heon, whom they both know is with Hee-jin ‘reconciling’, she lets it go.  Maybe she gave up on winning at that point.  The goodbye telephone message she leaves Jin-heon as she waits for the flight home alone matches his earlier exposed heartache over the loss of loved ones?  Maybe Sam-soon is telling him that they have much in common.  Or that she understands his choice but still loves him.  Either way, some instinct leads her to reach out to him one last time.  Afterwards, in a time immemorial expression of love lost, Sam-soon tries to rebuild her life, only to find that without Jin-heon beside her, she’s floundering.  From the day of the wrecked blind dates, Sam-soon and Jin-heon have been inseparable.  They work together and regularly date in their pretend relationship. He has protected her, listened to her, fought with her, been forgiven by her, and shared moments of genuine passion with her. She has done all the same towards him. Her heartache could not be worse, even adding in the love contract.

Ending a relationship with someone you still love - either side -- does not translate to abandoning them.  If we hear they are in trouble, it will be hard not to try to help them.

One feels that if Jin-heon had turned up for work the next and subsequent days after the Jeju Island debacle, they would have fought over his treatment of Sam-soon, then moved forward with their lives.  Instead, his absence across the days following their ‘breakup’ leaves her in panic.  She knows who he is with, without a doubt.  But, in a matter of speaking, his absence is rubbing his reconciliation with Hee-jin in Sam-soon’s face, and she finds herself ignoring the obvious.  If she doesn’t think it, it’s not happening.  So, Sam-soon convinces herself that her concern is purely regarding his health and well-being, and after more than one sleepless night, makes comfort food to bring to his home.  Her usual honesty has failed her, and Sam-soon is in denial.  However, true to her nature, she knows she must face the truth in order to move on. That she hesitates just before she reaches the apartment, then again before ringing the doorbell tells us Sam-soon may want a particular outcome, but she knows there is a very real alternative possibly awaiting her.  

Finding Jin-heon with Hee-jin together in the early hours of the day could not advertise more clearly that they had spent the night (and no doubt last few days) together.  Sam-soon expected nothing less, but it hurts all the same. Hee-jin flaunting her victory over Sam-soon adds humiliation to her hurt.  Never a fighter for a man, Sam-soon walks away.  But, like she has changed Jin-heon’s character during their time together, he has changed hers, too.  Returning to face him and throwing the same clauses of the love contract at him that he has used to hold her, Sam-soon adds a well-placed kick to his weakest leg.  She knows the history of this injury, has seen the ongoing pain he continues to suffer from it.  Telling him to stuff his damn love contract for good measure gives her some degree of satisfaction as she leaves. 

Sometimes, hurt really does give us courage to do or say things which under normal circumstances we could not or would not do.  Perhaps it’s because by then we have nothing to lose, or maybe simply lashing out is the only form of outward expression of our pain we can manage.  Modern dramas entertain us with the extremes of revenge a person hurt by love can go to.  In comparison, then, Sam-soon was pretty restrained.  In real life, one hopes to be more like Sam-soon.  

What do you do when you literally cannot stand to be ignored by someone?  You follow them as they walk away from you.  What do you do when someone who has always been strong enough to fight you head-on leaves in tears because of the depth you have hurt them?  You try to justify your actions to them.  So, not for the first time, Jin-heon follows Sam-soon as she leaves.  Where he had refused to join Hee-jin in the same elevator when she demanded he finish with Sam-soon (a demand he refused to accede to with his silence), with Sam-soon there is no such hesitation; he even stands close beside her.  For his troubles, Jin-heon receives a rightful slap to the face.  Clearly, he feels that was not sufficient punishment as he stays within slapping distance, suggesting his willingness or expectation of more to come. Exiting the elevator, Jin-heon continues to be Sam-soon’s shadow.  She is still crying, and she is now angry, so there’s no way he will leave her.  Jin-heon seems genuinely moved when Sam-soon tells him he should forget her declaration of love whilst on Jeju Island.  The kicker to the retraction of her love is when she adds that she made a mistake.  He’s heard those words before.  He said it first to her after their passionate kiss at the restaurant beside the piano.  It was a kiss they had both been longing for, but one he ruined the memory of by labelling it a mistake.  Now that same message hits him hard.  She is really and truly leaving him. 

Leonora

Asiandramaobserver@gmail.com

[1] Aldous Huxley, Brave New World (1932): https://www.britannica.com/topic/Brave-New-World