Why My Lovely Sam Soon is still relevant today - Part 4

That Jin-heon followed Sam-soon out of the building in the first place is no surprise, but there’s no good reason as to why either.  In chasing Sam-soon, Jin-heon left Hee-jin standing at his doorway, no doubt confused about what is going on.  When Sam-soon falls off her bike in her haste to leave Jin-heon behind, his reaction towards her accident is just as hard to apply rationality to.  Rushing over to Sam-soon, who is laying on the road unconscious, is a given. However, having seen her safely admitted to hospital, Jin-heon does not leave her bedside.   When Hee-jin laughs at a snoring Sam-soon, Jin-heon shakes his head, the way we do when someone we are close to does something expected or even unexpected.  They belong to us, and we don’t judge them.  But Jin-heon has never judged Sam-soon negatively.  Never.  Even with Hee-jin also there, then her sister attending the hospital, he stays, watches, waits.  He’ll be there until he feels sure that she is safe. 

Alone with Sam-soon, now in a deep sleep, Jin-heon has been assured she is okay.  She passed out from exhaustion and sustained only abrasions to her arms.  Yet he stays; he can’t seem to leave her.  He uses the time to listen to the messages he has ignored for the last few days in his preoccupation with ‘starting over’ with Hee-jin. We know that Sam-soon has tried to contact him multiple times.  He listens to all her messages.  When it comes to the long grief exposure over her father, we see a subtle shift occur on Jin-heon’s face.  It’s hard to say exactly what is happening, except that whilst his eyes focus on Sam-soon’s face in sleep, his mind wanders to their last meeting and to his actions on Jeju Island.  It’s cleverly suggested that Sam-soon is reliving the same memories because she is talking in her sleep, begging him repeatedly not to go (not to leave her), as she did then.  The deep relationship they claim to share remains intact, it seems.  Sam-soon is still crying when Jin-heon gently shakes her awake from the dream.  After listening to her words on his phone and then as she sleep talks, Jin-heon has the appearance of someone whose heart is also suffering.  They share the sadness of ex-lovers whose connection remains strong but their decisions, for whatever reason, have caused them to part. 

Sometimes, loving someone is not enough and the relationship fails.  When one or both parties decide that a future together is not possible, the love they shared does not necessarily stop, even for the one that leaves.  Those previously ‘perfect’ partnerships are the hardest to let go, to not keep looking over our shoulder at as we walk away. Today, it’s no longer frowned upon (as much) when ex-partners stay on good terms. It is accepted (more often now) that previous lovers can become just friends.  It’s understood that the complicated lives we live nowadays means that a clean break may not be possible and that staying on good terms is the best course for all concerned.  Whether this was possible between Sam-soon and Jin-heon is not tested, however.  His attempt to put this in motion after she is discharged from hospital is roundly rejected by Sam-soon, maybe because Hee-jin is at his side like a reminder of what she has lost.

Like with the drunk Sam-soon, Jin-heon’s responsibility towards her comes into force.  He wants to drive her home from the hospital.  His stupidity is on another level, really it is.  Jin-heon genuinely cannot understand why Sam-soon does not want to get in his car.   That’s because Jin-heon is not really aware of Hee-jin’s presence in terms of what he needs to do to care for Sam-soon.  As she looks from one to the other, Hee-jin seems to recognise that something beyond her understanding is going on between Sam-soon and Jin-heon.  In a more recent depiction of a comparable, albeit unrelated, situation, in Crash Landed on You,[1] Capt. Ri Jeong-hyeok of the North Korea army, in order to protect Yoon Se-ri, a South Korean accidental illegal, pretends she is his fiancée.  The unexpected appearance of the real fiancée creates a dilemma as to where his fake fiancée will spend the night as she has been hiding in his house.  Similar to Jin-heon, Capt. Ri appears not to understand that he is putting his fake fiancée in an untenable position by insisting she wait for him in the house whilst he drives his real fiancée to her own home.  Telling her to wait at the house, he adds that is, after all, where she lives.  In both cases, it has to be wondered whether it truly is naivety or stupidity, or whether the message being given is that there is a relationship between the fake partners and themselves they do not intend to break. Time and many tears later, that question is answered for both couples.

Where do we go from here? That is the question both Jin-heon and Sam-soon must be asking themselves.  We see Sam-soon miserable and lonely.  Her sadness is compounded by the fact that she has to come to the place where they met up most days of the week.  It might have been their workplace, but it gave them constant access to create and relive memories.  Many of their fights started or ended here.  Their reconciliation after those fights mostly happened here too, including a public apology by Jin-heon with poetry and flowers.  Their first kiss took place right there at that piano that she has to pass multiple times a day.  There’s no escape for Sam-soon from those memories and it is, therefore, no surprise that she eventually breaks down emotionally.  Doing so in her mother’s arms at home is both good and bad.  I have a daughter myself, and when she turns to me with problems of the heart, as a mother, I feel blessed.  For Sam-soon that blessing comes with a verbal and physical beating.  In so many ways, Sam-soon has brought shame to herself, her mother, her family.  She has entered a relationship with her boss, something considered a no-no, then as now. She has been dumped, unbelievably, yet again.  She ‘sold herself’ for a trifle.  Irrespective of the sum, nothing justifies selling your soul for any reason, much less for such a short-term gain. One wonders whether Sam-soon would have continued working for Jin-heon if her mother had not demanded she leave the job immediately.

When we make a choice between two dishes, two films to watch, which of two people we should commit to, there’s always the chance that our decision leaves us less than satisfied.  Jin-heon doesn’t appear to be much happier than Sam-soon.  Living in the past is an impossibility that he comes to understand pretty quickly.  The things that have been forgotten by Hee-jin upsets him, though he tries not to show it.  The things she does not know about because of her absence is a problem.  Her continued close relationship with her surgeon-on-hand, Henry, irks him.  The expressions of their renewed relationship, so different from with Sam-soon, don’t appear to please him.  The biggest of these is Hee-jin’s declaration of love, at one of their past favourite haunts, listening to one of their past favourite singers.  Where one would have expected Jin-heon to glow with happiness and relief, his response questions both how genuine Hee-jin’s love is and also how long it will last.  If I were Hee-jin, I would take stock of the words “How much and for how long”  and start to analyse their meaning.  The ghost of time past, unbidden, has moved them forward in life through the changes that have happened around and to them.  The effort it is taking to maintain the relationship, which has been reduced to empty words spoken during the day and  in bedtime talk, is clear.  All is evidence that the saying ‘the more things change, the more it stays the same’[2] does not apply to love.   It’s no better at the restaurant for Jin-heon who is reliving the same memories as Sam-soon had been.  We see him repeatedly gravitating towards the kitchen, which was Sam-soon’s domain, touching the surfaces she worked on, listening for the sound of her voice in the silence. 

Jin-heon is in the position of someone who turns away an offer many times, only to find that when he decides to accept it, it is no longer available. Those of us who have taken the risk know that as much as the gains are likely to be worth the risk, the losses are likely to be equally bitter fruit to taste.   Sam-soon dominates his thoughts.  Everywhere he looks, he remembers or imagines her presence.  Finding solace in a notebook she left behind, Jin-heon grasps short periods of emotional peace, but ultimately, things are getting worse, not better.  Those boxes are full of old photos, letters, token gifts, match what Jin-heon is left with.  It’s the best he has, that single notebook and the memory of Sam-soon’s aura.  Really, their time together was relatively short.  It’s enough for Jin-heon, just as it would be for someone today who is filled with regret and longing. It appears Jin-heon is closer to accepting his true feelings for Sam-soon now that the distance between them has become unbreachable.

So, to learn that Sam-soon is on a blind date is a problem.  A big one causing him to pace then run towards her.  Perhaps it’s not jealousy.  Perhaps Jin-heon understands that he has to buy himself time to get back to her, or rather, for Sam-soon to return to him.  The truth is dawning on him that life without Sam-soon is hard to live.  But what of Hee-jin and all those dreams that dominated his very existence during the three years of her absence?  As hard as it was to make a choice the first time, how now to reverse that decision?  Jin-heon still loves both women, but only one of them fills his thoughts during the day and his dreams during his sleeping hours.   Acting decisively rather than on impulse this time, Jin-heon crashes Sam-soon’s latest blind date and drags her back to the restaurant.  His methods are unoriginal.  If the drama had been a comedy, it couldn’t have been funnier, except the humour is in the absurdity of Jin-heon’s behaviour.  He hopes that by telling Sam-soon the contract is still binding, she will return to being compliant. The message here is that Jin-heon doesn’t want Sam-soon enough to share his life and love with her, but he does not want her to be with anyone else, either. Except Sam-soon is no longer playing that game. Unlike Jin-heon, her life experiences have taught her how to move on from trauma and tragedy.  She does not have the luxury of time or age to sit wallowing in sorrow and is back on the hunt for a husband. Unlike Jin-heon, Sam-soon has gained nothing from the love contract, if you discount heartache and a sizeable debt.  Having learnt more about Jin-heon’s character, it’s likely he would have given her the money without the love contract.  It was Sam-soon who set the terms for the loan.

Episodes 11-16

In a reversal of the events that happened on Jeju Island, although Jin-heon continues to date Hee-jin, he spends all his waking hours thinking of ways to be with Sam-soon.  He’s pretty successful at coming up with reasons to meet her, but Sam-soon will have none of it.  We know that more than anything else, Jin-heon cannot cope with being ignored by Sam-soon.  He eventually devises a plan that successfully brings them together. She must absolutely collect her bicycle, the one she fell off outside his apartment building leading to a hospital admission.   Earlier that same night, he rejected Hee-jin’s invitation to stay the night.  Hours later, he is with his ‘ex-girlfriend’.  All this without encouragement from Sam-soon.  No matter, as his strategy is working.  Being in each other’s company, as he drives her and the bicycle to her home, is enough to trigger the yearnings for him Sam-soon that had been trying to suppress.  He was always able to manage her emotionally.  Only now Sam-soon will not settle for a fake relationship.  She wants the real thing.  Sam-soon understands what Jin-heon clearly doesn’t.  Sad but needing an answer, she questions him about the meaning of his actions.  She want him to tell her why they are together in the middle of the night.  Sam-soon is past cryptic clues and actions, directly challenging Jin-heon to face how he feels about her. Be truthful, she gently implores.  And Hee-jin has found out where he is and also wants answers.  Serves him right, I say. 

But I pity him, too. The next morning’s litany of ‘sorry’ with no explanation is another red flag that Hee-jin seems to ignore. 

It’s good that Jin-heon knows what his heart wants now. Or rather, he’s accepted what his heart has wanted since meeting Sam-soon.  This must include that where Sam-soon speaks to him like an equal, Hee-jin treats him like a disobedient child.  Sam-soon, by telling him to work out what he really feels towards her, is also telling him that she stills wants to be with him.  Her courage is greater than most because, maybe, she has experienced disappointment more often than others.  Sam-soon’s mother is frustrated that she has been dumped yet again, giving insight into the fact that Sam-soon has repeatedly failed at relationships.  Many of us know someone, if not ourselves, who, for whatever reason, just can’t progress a relationship into a permanent union.  It’s not a female thing, nor a male thing.  I guess, like some people are naturally lucky, some are just more successful with the partners they choose.  Whatever the reason, like for Sam-soon, dating today fails to produce the desired outcome for many people.

Things go from bad to worse for Hee-jin when, during a date soon after the midnight rendezvous incident, Jin-heon calls out Sam-soon’s name instead of hers.  He’s unaware of the error.  He talks about things being okay now Sam-soon is with him.  He talks about things being shared in the future between him and Sam-soon.  These are the words of a man planning his life with the woman he loves.  The ‘now’ says that things have not been good without Sam-soon.  Hee-jin, standing beside him, is either too afraid to correct him, or too much in shock to respond.  The event is not spoken of.  In truth, Hee-jin is fast running out of ways to hold on to Jin-heon.  Because they have no memories created in the present, the future is looking uncertain. The past?  That ship has sailed, as the saying goes.  (If you mix up the name of your child with the dog’s name, it’s forgivable.  Likely, both have been making more mess than you can cope with at that moment.  If you call the name of your ex-partner instead of your current partner, it means the former is still on your mind.) 

Time passing is the elephant in the room theme of this drama.  As with yesteryear, trying to resurrect a relationship that has failed is nearly impossible.  Yet people keep trying.  They do so because, occasionally, starting again is successful.  The reason for the original breakup becomes seemingly insurmountable because of the three years of silent devastation Hee-jin put Jin-heon through.  Big reason or small, relationships that fail were just not meant to be.  Even those who claim to have successfully resumed a shared love acknowledge that this is not a continuation but a new relationship with the same person.  Like history, what is done cannot be erased.  Hurt, pain, cheating, whatever that led to loss, suffering, distrust, cannot be forgotten.  The choice to move forward despite the past means the relationship is a new one, with new rules and expectations.  It’s the same with Jin-heon and Hee-jin.  It’s the same for Sam-soon and Jin-heon.  It’s why Sam-soon now has more specific demands and conditions where before she had only one: no cheating.

In a simultaneous regression and natural progression of events, Jin-heon bumps into Sam-soon on a date with her ex-boyfriend, he of the wandering affections and wandering hands.  Apparently, Sam-soon’s now married ex-beau just wants to go on a ‘goodbye to the past’ date.  In reality, Sam-soon subsequently finds out he is there to invite her to be his mistress.  Before that, however, they end up at the only hotel in town worth going to, as one is led to believe -- Jin-heon’s mother’s place.  It is a coin toss as to who is going to pass out first:  Jin-heon or Sam-soon.  Jealousy radiates from Jin-heon with enough heat to scorch its target, Sam-soon.  The message is that she has betrayed him and has been caught in the act of cheating.  He can hardly breathe and the few words he speaks roundly castigates Sam-soon for her infidelity.  Poor Sam-soon, she’s berating herself for going along with an idea she really had no interest in, is not dressed for, worries could land her in a situation she does not want to be in.  If Jin-heon’s victim stance is beyond belief, Sam-soon’s guilty look and attitude is incomprehensible.  After all, what has she done wrong? 

Leonora

Asiandramaobserver@gmail.com

[1] Crash Landed on You (2019): https://mydramalist.com/35729-emergency-lands-of-love

[2] Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr The more things change, the more they stay the same(1849): https://www.bookbrowse.com/expressions/detail/index.cfm/expression_number/483/the-more-things-change-the-more-they-stay-the-same